Explaination Opinion Tech Theory Wishful Thinking Work physics
by Mr.
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School, Home, and theoretical physics
I finished off the summer semester, 2 A’s, 2 B+’s. I can’t complain…I’m tired of school, and am glad that there is only about another year for this degree. There will be another year and a half for the Masters…but I’ll worry about that then. One milestone that I’m getting ready to hit, and wasn’t aware that it was there to hit, is getting the AAS. I’m about 15 credits over, but if I would have known/cared/and planned for this, I would have had an associates at least. I will by the end of this year. More or less, it’s a small milestone, but it’s one none the less. I’m just tired of school, tired of not ever having any free time for anything. But, what can I do? I could quit, but I’ve worked too hard to get this far…
Jess started school as well last week. So, we now have 3/4ths of our house population going to school, and 1/4 just getting into everything and pushing buttons on whatever has a button. I think Jess is liking it so far :)
One week of relative freedom between semesters. My classes start again next Saturday. At least they look relatively easy. That, and I’m only taking 9 credits this semester, since one of the classes is a physics lab that marries up to the physics class. Both of them combined only make up 3 credits…so, it’ll put me a class behind, but I’m all about a slow semester…Not too bad though, even with taking a half semester off this year to get my MCSE, and taking a 3/4 semester, I’ll still get in 27 credits. Not too bad really.
We’ve gotten a few little things done around the house. One thing is ripping up all the old landscaping, and getting the yard into something a bit more family friendly, not so much older lady friendly. It’s a pain in the ass. The people before us left so much crap that we’re still dealing with, but it’s almost gone now. The next thing I need to do this week sometime is get the attic cleaned up a bit. It’s tore up from whenever they re-done the roof last. Once that is cleaned up, then we have to get insulation up there. It’s something that I’m hardly looking forward to, but at least I’ll sweat off a few pounds up there ;) Last time I was up there, it felt like it was 120 degree’s…yee haw.
I told Jess that it looks like, though not confirmed, that my unit may be getting deployed early ’09. I know that she isn’t thrilled about that at all. In some regards I’m not either, but in other ways, it’s part of the job. At least this time I won’t be in a situation where I’m getting screwed from the get-go, I’ll have a section dedicated to one mission, and I’ll be able to get the guys trained up before we go for the job; unlike last time…anyways, it doesn’t make it any easier, but it’s also part of that oath I took, and I know full well what that means. Jess does too, and that at least makes it easier on both of us in some regards. You can’t just dump commitments because you’re not in the mood anymore, not if you want to be taken seriously by everyone else in the world anyways.
I’ve been running through some theory (major subject change) lately, and I think I’ve bored the hell out of the Missus with my astro-physics conjecture. At least I don’t think I’m the only one thinking along the same lines, since I read a story coming from the scientists at CERN that sort of go along the same lines that I’ve been thinking. At CERN, scientists are saying that we can’t see dark matter because “Gravity” isn’t in any of the equations, they’re only looking for sub-atomic particles, by examining the force they exert on the universe at large. That fits in with what I’m thinking, but I also think that along with Gravity, it’s Time that we’re missing. (If you don’t want to have your brain challenged right now, turn away)
Now, I’m not going to go back to the Big Bang, but instead focus on black holes. Hawkings first said, though he’s recanted recently, that matter entering the black hole disappears. I don’t think it disappears, I just don’t think we have the means to see it.
When matter gets closer to the event horizon of a black hole, the point of no return, the matter starts getting pulled away from itself, and from our point of view it looks like the matter is being extruded into a particle stream. From the point of view of an object on the event horizon though, there is no real change, it’s still the same object, the time-distance between particles is the same as it were in normal space/time. Take for instance two cars going down the road at 30MPH. A 2 second separation between those two cars is 88 feet, but they’re only 2 seconds away from each other. At 60MPH, at 2 seconds away from each other, they’re 176 feet from each other, but they’re only still 2 seconds from each other. Now, think of that on a molecular and even further sub-atomic particle level. The spacing between the two particles is greater once crossing the event horizon, but in a time relationship with themselves, they’re the same distance.
Now, once crossing the event horizon, a 3 dimensional object will, from our point of view, start taking on a 2 dimensional point of view as the particles are extruded around the black hole funnel, but for the object entering, it’ll still more or less feel like itself. Because the particles are at the same time-distance from each other than they were before they entered the black hole, there will be no real felt difference for that object.
Now, whats to say that the forces exerted in a black hole not only effect the object, but the particles themselves. what if a single sub-atomic particle is now stretched itself when going into the black hole? One side of a particle will have the same time-distance relationship within itself, but it looks more like a smear of what used to be a particle to us. It still has the same effect of gravity it did before, and it still can condense with other like particles to make molecules, but it’ll be spread out over a greater time.
The search for dark matter is hindered by our in-ability to either spot Gravity, and our inability to see anything in time other than right now. We can’t time-lapse our views on a particle that may be traveling at any speed and see the whole particle, and more than likely we wouldn’t even see the very small sliver of that particle that is showing in this very instant due to us not knowing what to look for.
I don’t think that a black hole destroys matter and forever erases the history of memories that get caught in it’s grasp, but instead believe the output of the gravity well is a particle that is no different than what entered, with the exception that it is now sped up within itself. The output is a particle that resides in more than one instant at any given time, and we cannot see it because we can only see in one instant at a time without the picture becoming a blur and unusable information.
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If I could program my Easy button
I’d probably try and figure out how to program a macro into it, that everytime I slapped the easy button, someone in the world would be programmed with ‘reality vision’. Ahh, I’ll just place that in the wishful thinking pile.
A little bit about reality. The reality that weighs heavy today, and has been for a couple of years now, is that I’m going to watch my daughter grow up not trusting me. Her mom always on the lookout for the next Daddy to her probably doesn’t help much. I get chastised by her for not being interactive in her life as much as I should. Outwardly, this is correct, I don’t. Some of the reasons are that for one, I do not like talking to the ex. Any time I get a call to talk to my daughter, I get to spend 2 minutes talking to her, and 20 minutes listening to redundant babble from someone who’s drunk, then having her give the phone back to my daughter hearing her say, tell your daddy goodnight and hang up.
I have to deal with my daughter growing up seeing men as the cause of pain, because she’s introduced to a new ‘uncle’ once a year, only to see them go away for what ever reason is given her. I’m afraid that by the time she is an adult, she’s going to view men as a throw away device like a coffee cup, and confuse the act of sex with the act of love.
I dealt with this when I was a kid to a certain extent. I had a mom that told me stories about how evil of a man my dad was. This is what I grew up with, and when I first got to start seeing him when I was about 10 or so, at first I was very mistrustful. It sure didn’t help that I had a roll model like my sister’s dad to make comparisons to. It took me years to realize that it wasn’t my dad that the stories came from.
Oddly, my sister’s dad is the one guy my dear old mom pushed me towards, had me spy against, so forth. This man seemed to fit the time and situation perfectly. He first got me drunk when I was 11, smoked pot with me that same summer, and introduced porn to me, specifically, with pictures of women he had been cheating with on my mom. He showed me the importance of beating your wife and how it really shows everyone what a man you are. Oddly enough, this is the perfect gentleman that my mom pushed me towards as a father figure. That and her dear cousin Raymond…another swell guy.
This is what I’m afraid is going to happen to my daughter in a way. There isn’t an easy button to fix this unfortunately.
My daughter is young, and like all young people, they listen to everything, remember everything, and think that what their parents say is true. The fact that her mom doesn’t have a job is probably heard plenty, but also about how ‘your dad’ isn’t helping out like he should is also probably heard. She’ll hear this, not realizing that it is her mom’s responsibility to provide for her also. She won’t realize that daddy already allocates twice as much for her than any other person that he has to support. She doesn’t realize that daddy had to move away so that he could provide for her.
I don’t know. I don’t think I’m going to write about this, or the ex, any longer. I know and realize that this is going to be an ongoing issue, that I’ll feel the repercussions of this until the day I die, so forth. I’ll do what I can to be in my daughters life, to provide for her, and to hopefully help her secure a decent future. I’ll do what I can to be the one stable man in her life as she sees all the ‘uncles’ move on, and hopefully in 20 years she’ll realize that. I’ve always lived with the philosophy that I have to accept those things in which I can’t change, and inversely, do what I can to influence those that I can.
I’m tired of trying to explain that it wasn’t my fault that someone’s life was destroyed because she got pregnant, and I’m tired of having to pay for that. I know it wasn’t solely my fault, and I know that I go out of my way to do what I can for my daughter.
So, I guess this is me hitting the easy button. I’ll do what I can always, to be a positive influence for my daughter, and to support her in any way I can. I realize the ex doesn’t know the difference between some things such as sex and love, or that love is a continual act and not a gut feeling one gets with a crush. I realize that there isn’t anything more I can do.
