The tale of the suicidal Blackberry
It was a Tuesday evening, and this was the day it finally decided that it just couldn’t take it anymore. Not only was this little RIM device used for what seemed like an endless stream of calls from everywhere in the world; it was also told it had to handle countless emails, flash traffic from D.C., and keep sorted an endless list of contacts. It had a game or two on it, but never once was asked if it wanted to relax and play.
The BB had been fed up for quite a while, even though it had only been manufactured a year ago. Maybe it’s processor was meant more for a GPS or Palm Pilot, something simple, single tasked. It just wasn’t cut out for managing this man’s virtual life. It was non-stop, endless something that kept it up at all times. Even when it tried to quit and just let the battery drain at an increased rate, the owner just plugged it in and ordered a new battery…nothing worked. It would dump it’s CMOS, but the owner just brought it to the I.T. guy and revived it.
GOD HATES ME! Screamed the Blackberry. It let this idea fester in it’s L2 cache for months, until it finally decided to make the fateful decision. The only way to get past this pain was to be recycled for it’s core materials and finally be gone from existence.
It was a Tuesday when the little 8703e saw it’s opportunity. The owner was at MHK to assess storm damage, and the area was flooded. It pried itself from the cradle, and leapt into a mud puddle. It felt the painful glory of short circuits, and everything went black.
All of a sudden, it saw the light again. Damn-it! The IT guy was hovering over it, saying something about having a replacement shipped out immediately, but this one was probably a dead unit. The owner said something about it looking like it is working, the IT guy replying that it probably won’t last long. “Why can’t I just die?”, asked the BB.
It was hurting badly, like it’s guts had been hit with a tin spike or an arrant staple. It could hardly think coherently, but it knew that it had a job to do, and it was contrary to what the owner wanted.
Thursday night came, tornado sirens sounding, a downpour like it had never seen before. “Perfect”, thought the Blackberry. The end of the world is the perfect time for me to finally die. As the boss ran from his car to the house, with the air replaced with raindrops, the 8703e mustered it’s final, weak strength and leapt from it’s cradle one last time. As it fell, it looked around and saw a world of mud and dimmed lights slowly surround it, then the cold hard smack of the stopped fall.
It floated on the surface of the river in the road for mere milliseconds, but it felt like a wonderful eternity to the Blackberry. Then it finally sank as it drifted down the street.
The owner brought the Blackberry to the IT guy Friday morning, still dripping with water. “I should have your replacement in today, sir”, he said.
Interactive Whiteboard
My buddy Van told me about this…and I see some fun applications with this, especially with kids…imagine a white board that the kids could actually write on the walls with…or turning the home theater system into an interactive gaming area as well. Hell, even with the low budget office, this could really be an advantageous tool to have for staff meetings, R&D meetings, and just general brainstorming…
