Of Pens and Swords

So now, we will have to move everything out of the one room yet again, 3rd time this month, into the other room, so we can clean the floors in there. There is still plenty of nasty all over it, under things, so forth. I think we’re going to move…just too much crap to deal with.

It’s an odd situation for me. 9 years Army, and I got pretty much a suck it up, drive on attitude. There were months we’d go without hot water in the showers, cold air in the summer, warm food at meal times, and leaky roofs that hadn’t been repaired since the late 70’s. After a while, we just learned that nothing was going to get anything fixed, so fuck it…whatever. Now, we’re paying tenants, and I’m almost having a hard time getting out of that mentality. What pushes it now, however, are Jess and the kids. Jess is already getting sick, probably due to the mold now growing in the basement. The kids definitely don’t need to be breathing in shit-particulate either.

Anyways. I’m half way done with this part of the semester, and today decided that I can’t do 3 classes at a time. I’m doing it now, but it’s not easy. I have enough time to take care of two fully, but 3 I’m ending up doing a half ass job on all 3. ***Kids, get college knocked out before you’re ingrained into life***. Doing this will probably help me maximize my student loans, VA and guard money anyways. It’ll add another semester til I’m done, but hell, I’ve been working on this for going on 5 years now, and have doubled what I’ve done in just the past year. Another year and a half shouldn’t kill me. I just have to make sure none of my classes expire in this time frame…that’d suck.

Though I’m sure the rumor mill is already grinding this info out, I’ll put this info out just as a matter of fact. Yes, Jess and I are seriously contemplating staying here in this state, in this town. This is sure to make a few people mad, but all I can say is oh well. More or less, the two of us are tired of flexing to the needs of everybody else, and not ourselves and our kids. Grace has gotten into a really decent school, and we’d like to keep it that way. I’m just purely sick of moving all the time, tired of collecting addresses. Jess, I think, is finally comfortable with not being ‘home’, but is making here home. I’m tired of not ever really knowing my neighbors, because I’m never there too long; tired of packing stuff up to just unpack it, or in the case of some things, haven’t been really unpacked in years. This town is reasonably centrally located to my family (Colorado, Houston Tx, STL) and I have a job that I like. More or less, we’re tired. We need to set up shop at one place, for a while longer than a year. I have officially been here longer than I’ve been anywhere since I was 15 years old, and that’s odd for me.
We have to think of the two kids in Michigan, but they’re getting old enough to understand we feel. My daughter will probably have the hardest time most likely, since she still has the impression that her mother and I are still getting back together for some reason, even though I have told her about once a week that this isn’t the case. That’s something that her mother has to address as well though. Jess’s son is also in MI, though his dad is a very good guy, has a lot of family there. He’s also old enough to understand this.
People are forgetting that we also have two kids with us. There isn’t any real reason to have them live the life of a gypsy for the sake of others. That is more or less counter to what we really want them to learn anyways, to think of others but you don’t have to sacrifice yourself for others, unless you want to. Anyways.
Jessica’s parents aren’t going to be happy about this decision either. More or less, they’re going to be away from their grandkids, and I think that’s the biggest reason.
We will do what we can to be up to see everybody when we can. I think we’re just tired of sacrificing our lives for others. We’re not getting anywhere with it but stressed out and frustrated.

In other news, BSG won’t be back on until sometime in ‘08. Damnit! this really sucks …;) guess I can always get the first 3 seasons burned and watch them in my free time…
Sean is big. He keeps acting like he’s teething for a bit, then stops. Either way, he hasn’t yet learned to sleep through the night, which is wearing us out. He is starting to sit up on his own more or less, and is getting very animated in moving, so we’re figuring he’ll be tearing up the floors with crawling any day now.
Well, work has to be done, feel free to comment or whatever.