An Automated Life
This got me to thinking about a side project I’ve been working on in my free time for a couple of years, which is hacking the person equation. What I mean by this is that everybody can be stereotyped in one of a hundred categories for the most part. It’s not stereotypes such as, ‘he’s from the south and black, so he must like watermelons’, or ‘He’s Irish, so he must like cabbage and drink dark beers and whiskey’. I’m talking more of stereotyping by cause and effect, which means, it seems that person’s in a certain ‘stereotype’ will make like decisions based on a cause. The effect seems to usually follow the same course, even though I’m comparing two people that are geographically disbursed and have never met each other. Reactions always seem to fit a pattern that I think can be guessed at a better than 75% rate. Anyways, I know Jess has heard of my theories a few times, and is probably thinking I’m trying to be greater than I am J or that I actually don’t work and only sit in my own personal think tank hehe.
Anyways, along with this theory that I’m working on, as well as a hundred other things, I think that my overall goal is to simplify everything. Overall, I think it’s because I’m lazy; meaning, the more work I can do on Monday will save me time on Friday. I like to batch out requests at once, and get 30 related issues fixed at once. I will leave the grocery cart in the store and carry out 2 armfuls of stuff just so I don’t have to walk back to the store and put the cart away (it irritates me to no end to see people being lazy and just pinning the cart between two other cars). I will park in the first available spot, and see the person that was in-front of me still looking for a spot while I’m walking out of the store back to my car. I just like to save time, don’t like to do something twice if it doesn’t need it, if the first time should have been done right. I like to be lazy, and have as much time free as I can. This, however, doesn’t mean that I can procrastinate, but likewise, get everything done now, so I don’t have to worry about it ever again.
I think this is where my ‘hacking the human’ comes into play. I think I’m becoming so lazy, that I want to be able to predict someones reaction to whatever, and therefore be able to steer the reaction into a way that is conducive to both of us. I want to be able to reliably predict problems that could arise from things such as selfishness, greed, non-understanding, PMS, or just plagued with being an overbearing asshole.
It’s not that I want to try and get more done with my time, just that I want more time. Time, after all, is the only true commodity that we as humans can trade, the only thing that at the base of everything, holds any worth.
If I could program my Easy button
I’d probably try and figure out how to program a macro into it, that everytime I slapped the easy button, someone in the world would be programmed with ‘reality vision’. Ahh, I’ll just place that in the wishful thinking pile.
A little bit about reality. The reality that weighs heavy today, and has been for a couple of years now, is that I’m going to watch my daughter grow up not trusting me. Her mom always on the lookout for the next Daddy to her probably doesn’t help much. I get chastised by her for not being interactive in her life as much as I should. Outwardly, this is correct, I don’t. Some of the reasons are that for one, I do not like talking to the ex. Any time I get a call to talk to my daughter, I get to spend 2 minutes talking to her, and 20 minutes listening to redundant babble from someone who’s drunk, then having her give the phone back to my daughter hearing her say, tell your daddy goodnight and hang up.
I have to deal with my daughter growing up seeing men as the cause of pain, because she’s introduced to a new ‘uncle’ once a year, only to see them go away for what ever reason is given her. I’m afraid that by the time she is an adult, she’s going to view men as a throw away device like a coffee cup, and confuse the act of sex with the act of love.
I dealt with this when I was a kid to a certain extent. I had a mom that told me stories about how evil of a man my dad was. This is what I grew up with, and when I first got to start seeing him when I was about 10 or so, at first I was very mistrustful. It sure didn’t help that I had a roll model like my sister’s dad to make comparisons to. It took me years to realize that it wasn’t my dad that the stories came from.
Oddly, my sister’s dad is the one guy my dear old mom pushed me towards, had me spy against, so forth. This man seemed to fit the time and situation perfectly. He first got me drunk when I was 11, smoked pot with me that same summer, and introduced porn to me, specifically, with pictures of women he had been cheating with on my mom. He showed me the importance of beating your wife and how it really shows everyone what a man you are. Oddly enough, this is the perfect gentleman that my mom pushed me towards as a father figure. That and her dear cousin Raymond…another swell guy.
This is what I’m afraid is going to happen to my daughter in a way. There isn’t an easy button to fix this unfortunately.
My daughter is young, and like all young people, they listen to everything, remember everything, and think that what their parents say is true. The fact that her mom doesn’t have a job is probably heard plenty, but also about how ‘your dad’ isn’t helping out like he should is also probably heard. She’ll hear this, not realizing that it is her mom’s responsibility to provide for her also. She won’t realize that daddy already allocates twice as much for her than any other person that he has to support. She doesn’t realize that daddy had to move away so that he could provide for her.
I don’t know. I don’t think I’m going to write about this, or the ex, any longer. I know and realize that this is going to be an ongoing issue, that I’ll feel the repercussions of this until the day I die, so forth. I’ll do what I can to be in my daughters life, to provide for her, and to hopefully help her secure a decent future. I’ll do what I can to be the one stable man in her life as she sees all the ‘uncles’ move on, and hopefully in 20 years she’ll realize that. I’ve always lived with the philosophy that I have to accept those things in which I can’t change, and inversely, do what I can to influence those that I can.
I’m tired of trying to explain that it wasn’t my fault that someone’s life was destroyed because she got pregnant, and I’m tired of having to pay for that. I know it wasn’t solely my fault, and I know that I go out of my way to do what I can for my daughter.
So, I guess this is me hitting the easy button. I’ll do what I can always, to be a positive influence for my daughter, and to support her in any way I can. I realize the ex doesn’t know the difference between some things such as sex and love, or that love is a continual act and not a gut feeling one gets with a crush. I realize that there isn’t anything more I can do.
We’re trivial at best
On the front page, Busta-Rhymes gets arrested, again, for beating someone up, again. On page 3, trying to save 1 million head of cattle in snow-locked west Kansas and eastern Colorado. Cattle worth approx 1.5 billion in costs, and a significant amount of beef for our country.
They’re cows, big deal.
I am annoyed as to that Hussein was executed. I didn’t believe that he was a good person, nor his son’s. But from what I’ve seen from the ‘NEWS’ in the past 3 years, he may have been the only real man in that god forsaken country. At least he made a decision and stood by it, and the country was, for the most part, peaceful and generally pleasant to live in. This goes especially true for Women and Christians. The rest of the people there are just as selfish as anybody else in the world (which is ironic considering they don’t want a western influence, though they act like us on many levels).
I’m annoyed by organizations like PETA, who have unrealistic objectives and are hypocritical, but at least they work at their objectives.
I’m annoyed that I might be perceived a better man if I just gave lip service and hollow promises, instead of doing what I say I’m going to do and work to balance everything else that I am morally obligated to do.
I’m annoyed that the more and more I find out about my mother who has been dead for 6 years, the more and more I don’t like her, and how conflicted I feel because of that. She was my mother, and somewhere it’s written that I’m supposed to love her, yada yada yada, but if I had no relation to her, I wouldn’t associate with her, period. The more and more I hear, the more and more I don’t believe she was a good person.
I’m annoyed that I’m sick right now. It’s rather distracting.
