Too tired to rage
I’ve been pissed lately. The past two years or more generally, but specifically the past two weeks it’s been stewing in my head. Started by getting screwed with by a unit administrator and a commander telling me two different things within a days of each other constantly. The fact that even though I have never served in a useful capacity in this unit, I wasn’t to be released. The whole, I Give My word to release you 1Oct03, or sorry we can’t release you, yes we are, no we’re not, next month you will be, never mind, the 1st of December, oops, sorry can’t do that, 1st of January, sorry can’t do that again shit. I could have been two ranks higher, doing something useful right now. Then the stoploss that shouldn’t have happened, because I didn’t hold a valid position until over a week after the unit had been alerted, and how the stoploss date didn’t show up as it should have been but as a 2 year re-enlistment for a couple months after the date. Then to get here, and to just be fucked with and fucked with and be surrounded by fucking morons lead by idiots, then to be fucked with some more.
I’m now in a position that I’m supposed to give a fuck. The problem is, I can’t. I just don’t have the energy to anymore. I don’t have the energy to even pretend to anymore. After two years of being screwed around, being insulted like being told that I always thought you were just a hick, or listen to your super, he knows how to be real NCO…being insulted by not being listened to about the job we did even though I WAS THE ONLY GODDAMNED PERSON IN MY SHOP WHO HAS A DAMN FUCKING BIT OF EXPERIENCE, because I was only an E5 and couldn’t possibly know as much as I do….After being the rat in the cage, getting poked at by fifth graders, for two years, fuck, I’m just tired.
The greatest part is that after being a burden on taxpayers and supporting a group of people who could be replaced by a cron schedule, I have to rebuild my life. Unless I get lucky (ya, what the fuck ever) I’ll be moving to New Jersey. I’ll be half a country away from any of my friends and family. That’s my payment, my last, How may we screw you today, sir. Would you like an Ice tea with that?
Am I pissed. Yep. I also know that it doesn’t matter. This written history is the only record that any of this ever happened, and it could be easily wiped out by someone spilling coffee on the server it resides on. It makes it all trivial. I also know that being pissed off isn’t going to solve a damn thing. The only thing I can do is drop this carreer and focus on how to get where in life I need to be.
Bohica.
