Too tired to rage
I’ve been pissed lately. The past two years or more generally, but specifically the past two weeks it’s been stewing in my head. Started by getting screwed with by a unit administrator and a commander telling me two different things within a days of each other constantly. The fact that even though I have never served in a useful capacity in this unit, I wasn’t to be released. The whole, I Give My word to release you 1Oct03, or sorry we can’t release you, yes we are, no we’re not, next month you will be, never mind, the 1st of December, oops, sorry can’t do that, 1st of January, sorry can’t do that again shit. I could have been two ranks higher, doing something useful right now. Then the stoploss that shouldn’t have happened, because I didn’t hold a valid position until over a week after the unit had been alerted, and how the stoploss date didn’t show up as it should have been but as a 2 year re-enlistment for a couple months after the date. Then to get here, and to just be fucked with and fucked with and be surrounded by fucking morons lead by idiots, then to be fucked with some more.
I’m now in a position that I’m supposed to give a fuck. The problem is, I can’t. I just don’t have the energy to anymore. I don’t have the energy to even pretend to anymore. After two years of being screwed around, being insulted like being told that I always thought you were just a hick, or listen to your super, he knows how to be real NCO…being insulted by not being listened to about the job we did even though I WAS THE ONLY GODDAMNED PERSON IN MY SHOP WHO HAS A DAMN FUCKING BIT OF EXPERIENCE, because I was only an E5 and couldn’t possibly know as much as I do….After being the rat in the cage, getting poked at by fifth graders, for two years, fuck, I’m just tired.
The greatest part is that after being a burden on taxpayers and supporting a group of people who could be replaced by a cron schedule, I have to rebuild my life. Unless I get lucky (ya, what the fuck ever) I’ll be moving to New Jersey. I’ll be half a country away from any of my friends and family. That’s my payment, my last, How may we screw you today, sir. Would you like an Ice tea with that?
Am I pissed. Yep. I also know that it doesn’t matter. This written history is the only record that any of this ever happened, and it could be easily wiped out by someone spilling coffee on the server it resides on. It makes it all trivial. I also know that being pissed off isn’t going to solve a damn thing. The only thing I can do is drop this carreer and focus on how to get where in life I need to be.
Bohica.
End of days
Either way, it’s of no real concern, we leave in a couple weeks, and that’s that. They can’t keep us past our date without a serious need. Powerpoint isn’t in the list of ‘serious’ problems yet.
I’ve been quite negligent of posting anything. It’s only been a week and a half, though it does feel a lot longer. Here’s the skinny. My company, the civilian one, after this whole time of telling me that I was going back to Dayton, breaks it to me telling me that now I’m going to New Jersey. On one hand, I see it as a pretty decent opportunity, being in proximity to NYC, Philly, Boston, DC, yada yada yada. The drawback is that I still won’t ever get to see my daughter. The other drawback is that this is going to have a serious strain on my relationship with Jessica. She’ll also be leaving her son behind…
I guess someone said that they didn’t realize I was as bitter as I am after reading this. I never thought of myself as bitter, but I’m getting that way. I’m seriously on the verge of once again losing everything. I could go on about that, but there isn’t any need to anymore. I just think it’s my luck to be screwed at everything, that I am always having to rebuild constantly, starting new. It gets real fuckin’ old. I wouldn’t be nearly so pissed if I were kept back and sent here for a real purpose. I served absolutely no purpose here other than sucking up tax payer money and slightly reducing the worlds chicken population. I am trying what I can though, to stay in the eastern mid-west. I’m applying for every job that I’m either qualified or slightly qualified for. I don’t think I’m going to have enough time to find a job however. I will get less than a week in the states to finalize any job I may get, to interview, find a place to live, so forth. Realistically, that’s not enough time. So, now, the goal is to get my company to give me a significant cost of living increase in my salary for moving to NJ, since everything there is stupidly expensive. I have to find a place to live, finalize my slot at that airport, and friggin start the fuck over, again.
At least I have an enormous penis to keep me company.
Pens
I just got my tshirt from the unit. We can’t dry them or the iron on stuff will come off. I think I’ll just keep it in it’s plastic bag, put it in the footlocker of lost relics, and let the kids sort it out once I’m dead. They’ll be like, Damn, Dad sure does have a lot of odd crap…Talking about that, I’m trying to devise a last parting gift for the kids for whenever I die. I want to make it a scavenger hunt that could take them a while to find whatever pot of gold I put out there. This leaves to chance that I may put together a few years of work to have it never found, or it could possibly be found years before they get a chance to look for it. Either way, it could be fun :) I don’t know if it should actually be something cool they find, or if it should be something to remind them to enjoy the journey, not look forward to the destination so much.
So, I’m bored. It’s Monday. Well, Friday for most everyone else in the world. My Monday. It seems to be a relatively quiet day so far though, only about 10 issues solved over the phone, a total of about 15 minutes of work. I took yesterday off, and boy I missed one hell of a show. Seems the gremlins got loose on the network and took it down in pieces. Hehe, bet the network guys were sweating a bit over that one. They should. I sort of feel sorry for those guys though, being stuck here. I think they may be learning bad habits on how to conduct business with a network….If any company that tries to earn a profit had the amount of downtime as we do here, I’d foresee them finding another way, or other people, to run their network.
The hell desk crew is new too, and seemingly they went through the 1 hour course on how to not answer a question or actually participate in finding a resolution. They spend a lot more time trying to describe why they can’t do something as opposed to just doing what we ask. It reminds me of my sister when she was about 8 or so…instead of putting her dirty clothes in the hamper, she’d find new and creative ways of hiding her clothes that had to have taken at least 50xs more time in doing that instead of dropping them off. I think she was afraid of someone finding out her clothes got dirty…hehe…anyways….
well, it’s about time to round up the members of the fat boys coalition for dead chickens support group and go to the chow hall for the daily meeting…..
