Of Pens and Swords

A couple of years ago, in our unit, we had 2 great snorers. One, thankfully, retired. That leaves just one left. For two years now, I’m within the blast radius of him as well. It’s proof god hates me.

I haven’t noticed him snoring the past few months, I’m not sure why. The past week, however, he’s there. I’ve slept through mortar attacks (not here though), tornado’s, machine gun fire all night long, artillery, little-birds hovering over my head for hours at a time…why I can’t sleep through this who knows.

He starts snoring right when I’m trying to go to sleep. He’ll stop after a while, and I do my best to get to sleep, meditate, hum, just lay there exhausted…and as soon as I feel myself rolling into the dive of comfort, he starts up again. I haven’t gotten to sleep before 3am yet, and today is the 3rd day this week that I’ve stayed up all night and well into the next day…This time I just came to my office to get work done at 4 this morning.

I’m getting to the point of either punching him awake, testing out how hot my habenero tabasco sauce really is, stuffing my sweaty sock in his mouth, whatever it takes. Fuck what I’d do to get some sleep…