Of Pens and Swords

I decide I’m hungry that night, so I mosey on over to the chow hall to get my grub on. I get stopped while in line, and one of the girls working the headcount door comes over. She says, you can’t wear mixed uniforms in here. I looked down, and saw not one article of any uniform on me. I said as much. She said, well, you’re t-shirt is brown. I said yep, sure is. It also has yellow stitching. In either case, it’s not an authorized part of any uniform that I’m aware of. Simply stating it’s brown doesn’t make it so either. Any other points you’d like to point out? She says, well, either way, your shirt is brown, and you can’t wear it in here. I said, well, you implying one of two things…that either Tshirt makers aren’t allowed to make Brown T-shirts unless they plan on selling them for use in the army, or Army soldiers aren’t allowed to buy brown t-shirts unless they are ones for the uniform. If I were a Marine, or in the Air Force, you’d have nothing to say to me. In either case, I was given this shirt, I didn’t buy it, and it’s part of no uniform I ever wear. So what’s your point? She says, you can’t wear a brown tshirt in here. I said, are you kicking me out? She says no, but I am going to have to ask you to leave, and change your shirt. So , I said, You’re kicking me out, because I’m not wearing a mixed uniform but my shirt happens to be brown…you see where that’s really stupid, don’t you? She said, you can’t wear that shirt, and I said, but you’re not kicking me out either…then the mess sergeant kicked me out.
So I go back, change into my last clean shirt, which happens to be a Marine green tshirt…Hey, it’s not my uniform, they can’t bust me for wearing a mixed uniform…