Of Pens and Swords

So we moved into the detention center. That, however, isn’t the biggest part of the game.

Up until now, the micro-management has been kept within different sections, but now the mighty 1SG has been voted MicroManager Supreme. The royal sceptre of rolled counseling statements firmly grasped within her iron right hand, she lays command via email in a mighty fashion. She will be remembered for all eternity, or until the exchange server crashes and PST files are deleted.

I remember way back when, before the age of supreme micromanagement, when the 1SG would call great meetings in the early twilight, and hold counsel with the sometimes feudal Platoon Sergeants, and great decisions of command maintenance or how the CCP will be handled during the battle would be made. Then the ominous lords of men, the Platoon Sergeants, would gather the blood-drinking Squad Leaders, and disseminate the orders from up on high. Those days are gone, it seems, and a new day has dawned.

It will be known forever as the Information Age. The age where the dreams of paperless offices generate more paperwork than before, and where one never, ever, has to see who’s in charge. Let his or her voice reign over Email! Now, in the matter of hours, I receive more information from the Micromanager Supreme than I know what to do with, everything on how to clear a weapon, pull guard duty, and what fates befall you in the event of a tragic accidental discharge. I have been properly trained now to accomplish my task of thwarting the invaders from our hallowed terrain with a beautifully crafted Power point presentation. It’s colors and shear size swallowing up my inbox inspire me to be the greatest warrior of the Information Age.

Now there is no need to have a section sergeant to properly train myself or my soldiers in the art of war, because we have the gift of the gods called Visio, to properly show my patrol routes, the schedules I will keep, the armor I will wear, calculated to the finest detail. The 2 pound document on how to properly clear my weapon.

It does not matter that some of the information is incorrect, and has been brought to the attention no less than 3 times of my senior leadership. It does not matter that people instructing this particular class are ignorant of how to properly clear any weapon in the US inventory without this power point presentation. It only matters that you follow the instructions given to you by Micromanager Supreme to the letter, never question, for these slides of insight will further enhance your victory in the combat of boredom! All hail the Information age! and with it, the taste of old man, or woman, behind! Hip Hip, Hooray!