Of Pens and Swords

Anyways, there is a remedial pt program now that is magically going to get everyone (35) people to pass their pt test in 3 weeks. I wonder who owns the magic wand for this wizardy.

Personally, I know this is all in ones mind. In my mind, I said, I don’t care. I still don’t really. This isn’t going to help me in any way, in any fashion, ever. The commander here bitched me out because I was setting a poor example for all my soldiers. Ok, I didn’t mention that I don’t have any soldiers. He told me his story about how he was enlisted for 3 years back in the 80′s. I didn’t mention how I just got off 10 years of active duty. He said that I wouldn’t be able to get any awards, I didn’t mention that I didn’t want an award for doing my job. Lastly, he told me I wouldn’t be eligible for promotion. Hehe, should I even dare tell him that no matter what my score, that wouldn’t ever, ever happen.

We had a briefing on what we’re doing for remedial pt, or more specifically, what we’re going to be doing. There will be organized pt for 7 days, that is supposed to get everyone ready to pass the pt test. There seems to be a lot lacking though. Doesn’t matter really, I’ve been working out on my own for the past few months as it is.

What sucks is that I’m having a very hard time breathing some days. Now, considering that I haven’t even had a smoke in a month, haven’t smoked on a continual basis for 3, I’d think that I was over the major withdrawal symptoms like this, and it would get better. It’s not, however, and that is really annoying. I don’t enjoy feeling lame like this, getting out of breath sitting up in bed. It sucks, more or less.

On a different note, I finally got to make coffee in my coffee pot. It’s so damn good having a cup of joe that doesn’t make me feel like I have to brush the wool of the grill right after drinking it. A cup of coffee that I can enjoy the taste, and not have to worry if I’ll feel my hair grow or I go into an immediate cold sweat after drinking it. Talking about coffee, I got a Kuwait Starbucks mug! That doesn’t sound like much, but one quirk (one you say) that I have is that I collect coffee cups. They’re usually from little diners out around the world, so forth, but hey, a little commercialism never hurt. I am, after all, a citizen of the largest capitalism in the world.

The LTC that squared me away with that is a pretty good guy. I think he’s a reservist, he is a Marine. The Marines here are by far the easiest ones I’ve ever had to deal with. I’m used to dealing with infantry and anglico’s, and for the most part, they’re pretty single minded, drag their knuckles, all that. He’s also offered to take my resume and do a little head-hunting for me.

Let’s talk about the job situation. I don’t think I have a job waiting for me when I get back, the DHS and TSA are up to renew their IT contract 1Oct this year. It would be nice to have the job when I get back, I really enjoy working where I do. The politics in it, though, and trying to secure a very high, multi-million dollar contract, may leave the company out. For the guys already in place, that isn’t such a bad deal. If a new company picks up 1Oct, they just change companies for the most part. That works, if you’re there. I had to give up my airport to come here, and that guy sitting at my desk will be the one offered the job, not me.
I still have a standing job offer from the State Dept, and yet again, got contacted by them to come work for them 2 days ago. It starts out about 65 or so, but then you have to factor in the cost of living…At least the place they are offering me the position isn’t downtown, but a little south, so I could mitigate some of those costs. Decisions decisions, right…

For all of you out there thinking about transitioning from the Guard to the Reserves, because of the rank and promotions opportunities, you might want to check yourself. Rumor in the IT underworld, that yes, stretches into the reserves as well, says that a Gen. Honore is proposing a mandatory 2 year deployment for everyone in the reserves. Mandatory is what I’m saying here. They want to weed out all the people who don’t truly want to be in the reserves, or weed out the ones only so-so committed.

The problem I see right off the bat is that the military as a whole is already not meeting it’s recruitment goals. Now, they want to get people to leave the military as well. On top of that, the commitment to the reserves is being put as an equal to the commitment you have during active duty. Here’s the kicker. On active duty, you chose to do that, chose never to see your family, and chose to remain deployed until death, or ets, do you part. Reservists are reservists for a reason. It’s inherent in the very name.

The second big problem is employment. Lets make every reservist have a mandatory 2 year deployment, 2 off, 2 on. Companies will not hire you. If they do, they’ll find trivial but legally upheld reasons to fire you as soon as they find out you’re being deployed yet again. They see it the same way the military see’s it: you being gone is denying other people opportunities for advancement, so forth, because you have to come back to that position. Or they have to make a new position for you. The military doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on the fact that companies big and small aren’t there to fight a war, and aren’t there to take a share of an annual budget. They have to make money, create their own budgets, or they don’t exist. Taxpayer’s don’t support them. I get the impression from senior leadership that it’s no big deal, whatever.

Ahh, oh well, can’t change the world, just change your current grid location, right.

I was at the NTC for a moment.

The NTC is 2 weeks of pure excitement and adventure, sandwiched between two weeks of hard, hard work.

The first week is hard, drawing vehicles, making sure those vehicles work, working off gigs, pci/pcc hell, making sure all your equipment works over and over again. Its worth it though, because the next two weeks you won’t sleep but maybe 2 hours every other night, taxed to the limits of what you before defined as a threshold, only to redefine it later.

You roll out of the dustbowl to the box. A brigade of heavy metal raising dust a mile high, the smell of exhaust heavy in the air. The air is electric, people are already tired, but wide awake. They’re preparing for all out combat for 2 weeks. It’s the high end of the training management cycle for the commanders, it’s the scariest thing for the new troop, and it’s a rush for everyone else, the operators of actual warfare. Everyone hates it until its over, and they can’t wait to get back out there. Well, after a shower and a shave with hot water, of course.

I was always a COLT at the NTC. It was my first experiences in large scale battlefield tactics, to sit out in the middle of nowhere, usually a farts whiff away from the Krasnovians (Opfor, Krasnov I believe is Red in Russian. It was considered bad taste to call the opfor the Red army after the USSR fell, so we called them red in another language…) but in perfect position to see the whole battle unfold.

I would see our troops setting up a defense, moving a tank platoon here, a brad platoon there, hiding a GSR somewhere, and there was usually a lost 1^st Sergeant driving out there somewhere in the kill zone, plugger in hand, wishing to god he’d have paid attention to the class the FO gave on how to work that damn thing. I would see the OpFor, pulling tarps off vehicles, doing PCI’s on the miles gear and Hoffmans, smoking, and putting the hibachi’s away. I was the god of the battlefield.

I would hear chatter warm up on the nets, radio checks with guidon calls, the ever coming Oh Shit about a scout finding a friendly minefield or someone reporting a lost M113, ‘No sir, it was here last night’…I would watch the OC’s scurry around with their flagged vehicles, and I’d wake mine up “time to work there boss, better not give me away or I’ll hold you hostage for a fifth and a steak” .

There goes the advanced guard scouts out of the red lake slot, moving in BRDM’s at a rate of speed the OC’s tell us is unsafe. I call out to Blackhawk14 in the whale gap, two badguys moving your way, 2 klicks west. Blackhawk pulls two M1’s in front of the whale in defilade. Another scout drives through the minefield, again. Someone says to just put them out of their misery.

I have a Hind-d (huey) overfly my pos. shit, they’re d-f’ing me. Time to start coding in eplrs. I hate that. I key up again, tell them I’ll probably be coyote shit in a bit, the hind circles my hilltop. At least we’re camoflauged pretty well. He finds my vehicle cached about 2 klicks away, drops smoke on it. I’m walking now. Fucker.

I look over, opfor is coming out in force. Reaper is at the end of the valley of death, already had a few of them killed the night before by to brdm’s moving in. I warned them 3 times they had not so friendly badguys moving in real quick, the CO insisted on it being their TOP. Reaper 6, this is Rooster, ya, so why is the 1^st Sergeant coming out of Indian country? Why is he driving a BRDM? Where did he get two? Rooster, Reaper, that’s the first sergeant. Rog Reaper. Two minutes later, a whoopee light starts up. 10 seconds later, a second one. 5 seconds later, a 3^rd one. The net goes nuts, who the FUCK is firing on us. Reaper, Rooster, Uh, you have two BRDM’s in your perimeter, over. The song, Don’t Fear the Reaper from BOC just going through my head. I’m sitting about 10 klicks away, but I can see them fairly well. I just giggle, beavis’s ‘You dumbass’ just on the tip of my tongue.

I call out, Reaper, Blackhawk, Rooster, bad guys driving out of Red Lake Pass, break, BlackJack14, Rooster 14, Fire For Effect, TGT number AF0106, over. Rooster, Blackjack, Negative, End of Mission, over. Blackjack, Rooster, uh, ya, wasn’t I supposed to have priority, break, say, sometime about the beginning of the morning, over? Blackjack, roger, A Bat. Took indirect counterfire last night, they’re NMC, B is still shooting fascam for defense, C is displacing, over. Rooster, roger, uh, we have MLRS right? Over. Blackjack, roger, is being fired deep missions right now, over. Rooster, roger, uh, who’s deeper than me right now, I have a few acres of badguys and haven’t seen blue in a couple of days, over. Blackjack, ya, division has rockets. Rooster, roger. Is AC there? Do we have birds loaded in vic., over? Blackjack, roger, 4 sorties -16, 500 pd’rs and guns, over. Rooster, roger, can I borrow them for a few, over. Rooster 14, Blackjack Zoomie, what will you mark the target with, over? Rooster, roger, mark them with Red lake pass as choke point, and I have put a very large cloud of dust directly over their movement, Break, combat vehicle convoy going to the Gap, approx 75 victors, break, really can’t miss them, over. FAC, Roger, 2 inbound 45 degrees west of Teiford, callsign Goat, over. Goat 1, Rooster, radio check over, Goat, we’re inbound ( I see them) and we see a convoy, is that our target? Rooster, roger, heading 270 degrees approx 25 K/hr, over. Roger, goat in.

Blackhawk, Rooster, two tanks in defilade will have contact in just a second, over. Blackhawk, roger. Reaper, Rooster, 4 sheridans moving down valley, I can see 2 brads from here, keep them there, they’re on high ground, the sheridans can’t get to ‘em, over. Reaper, roger. Then I see the two brads move off the hills to engage, both get waxed. Duh, I’ve outrun those on foot, because they can’t clime hills, moron……

What the hell is that noise…Damn, alarm is beeping again. Then I smell the exhaust and dust. I’ll hit the snooze again, get about 3 more minutes of quality Not At Work time. I wonder if they have Special K at the chowhall this morning, and the real milk…..

I’m laying here, a little past midnight, just completely digging this. I haven’t listened to music in who knows how long, and for what reason I don’t know. Tonight is an all Rush Marathon.

I grew up with Rush. Three bands really, along with Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd. There are a million other bands, but these three let me feel young again.

Sometimes, I am guilty of the most heinous transaction a person can ever, ever do. Grow up, take things too seriously. Grow up and take myself too seriously. It is by far the worse thing anybody could ever do. You grow up, and the soul dies. Nothing but petty improvements in your life are the only thing that make you feel happy then. There is no wonder left in the world when you grow up.

Yesterday, I was found guilty of trying to grow up. I was sentenced to a small but terrible time of hatred in myself. It’s not my first conviction, and probably won’t be my last. I’m a chronic rule breaker, it comes with having the heart of a criminal. I’m sure I’ll be found guilty again some day. Hopefully I won’t ever go uncaught for my crimes.

I forgot the reason we’re here. It’s not to save the now helpless people of Iraq and help them become free, just like Iran. It has absolutely nothing to do with politics. It has nothing to do with oil, or freedom, or the bountiful amounts of sand here. It has to do with adventure.

This is a great adventure for a great majority of us. Even though nothing ever happens that is exciting here, we are on the ground that spawned civilization as we know it. We are in the very same piece of ground that was Mesopotamia, the crossroads for world trade. We breathe the same arid and dusty air that spawned such things as beer and religion. This is adventure.

We’re here to know each other. The whole time being here is nothing but a foundation for stories and personal history. People here are going to strengthen friendships, and build new ones. In our own little personal hell created by people who are also guilty of growing up and taking themselves too seriously, our history is borne. Here, people learn what they’ve always taken for granted. They redefine how they feel about a great many things. Someone will find out that they are really scared of the world outside of what makes them comfortable, the home they grew up in. Others will find that they have a truly adventurous heart, and make this only a stepping stone to greater adventures elsewhere. Either way, most people will come out of this place knowing more about themselves, and about their friends.

We reflect ourselves in each other. It’s the same principle as light. Some light is absorbed into the material, the rest is reflected. What we see is the reflection of the light not absorbed. It’s the painter’s perception of that reflected light that paints the world with the reality of his vision, what he sees. Attitudes are the same. I’m afraid I’ve absorbed too much light, and what is reflected isn’t that much, and has only left a shadow of what is actually there. I’m afraid my attitude affects others that I don’t mean it to. That is part of my punishment for trying to grow up, this seeing this reflection of light. It’s damn scary, let me tell you. It’s worse, because I get the impression that I have more of an influence on more people than I may know. Maybe I’m feeling self important…damn.

Why are we here? I say it’s so that we add another year to our lives. We’ve got one whole year that we don’t have to grow up. We’re here to ignore the fact that we’re penned up, and to have an adventure. We’re here to make stories to tell our kids kids someday. We’re here to have adventures with other people, if it’s nothing more than fast paced discussions at the chowhall during a rush and crowded lunch hour about what happened to us and how we learned from it, or how we at least intend to learn from it someday.

I end this with thoughts of early summertime somewhere, next to a little river, the air thick with bugs and humidity, La Villa Strangiato playing in the background as loud as you want to imagine it. Just close your eyes, and imagine where this adventure will lead.

Learn from my mistake, and try not to grow up.